Moving to a new city: What is takes to thrive in an unfamiliar environment
“If your world doesn’t allow you to dream, move to one where you can” -Billy Idol
You feel it in your bones, that gnawing feeling of wanting change. Everything in your life is.. well… ‘Just fine’. Deep within your soul, you know there is a life awaiting you that’s more than fine. A life that feel expansive, fresh and passionate. And that life isn’t where you currently are. It’s somewhere else and you intuitively know it.
Like water, life stays fresh when its moving and free flowing, a delicate pirouette between a secure sense of certainty and the intoxicating raw taste of unknown adventure. The stagnation found in the daily routine of an uninspired life can quickly become the glass ceiling of the mind, body and soul. Wanting to venture, explore and ‘change things up’ is the calling card of our generation. The rise in remote working opportunities coupled with an unquestionable wanderlust has got our generation moving domestically and internationally more than ever.
But are you moving for the right reasons? How to you decide when it's time to go? And how do you find your groove quickly in a new city?
Drop the baggage
The first thing to do is really find a silent place to ponder why you want to leave your current city and life in the first place. Are there goals you want to move toward or is there a situation you want to run away from? Is there a failed relationship? A failed job or business opportunity that is haunting you? It's important to come to terms with the fact that running away to a new place will not alleviate any emotional baggage you haven’t dealt with in your current environment. You will simply take the baggage with you and recreate the same unwanted circumstances in a new location.
The life we end up living is a direct result of the quality of our mindset, which in turn influences our decisions and outcomes. Whether it's through therapy, personal development or coaching it's important to leave any emotional baggage where you are to truly start fresh.
Move for the excitement of the unknown, not to runaway from the past.
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” -Paulo Coehlo
Determine your destination
Once you’ve dealt with the emotional baggage, then you can start deciding on where you would like to relocate to. The beautiful thing about this blue planet of ours is its diversity. Most towns and cities have a distinctive personality, and its important for you take into account your own personality and how it would mesh with the vibe of the new prospective city. For example if you like nature and serenity, New York City is going to feel jarring. Every location has its positive and negative aspects, but you can anticipate what is going to be a good fit for you by cultivating clarity.
Start by making a list of all the things you need your new environment to have. For example, you might need ‘a bustling nightlife’ or ‘a creative arts scene’ or ‘close access to beaches’ or ‘amazing cafes and restaurants’.
There’s almost no such thing as a perfect environment, but if you identify a few ‘must haves’ you’ll find it much easier to assess the suitability of a city. To go deeper, there are parts of a city that have a certain vibe. For example, the suburb of Brunswick in Melbourne is known as a colourful onclave, where creatives and environmentally focused individuals combine to live a city-based bohemian lifestyle. A simple google search will help you map out the suburban sociology of a city for you to compare with your checklist.
Pre-departure checklist
Before the big move, there undoubtedly will be a lot of ‘wrapping up’ and ‘tying of loose ends’ that need to be thoughtfully considered. This largely can be condensed into a strategic decluttering in the areas of life below:
Family: If you are leaving family behind, it's important to honour and recognise any family commitments and acknowledge you may be leaving a big hole in the lives of your family members by moving away. It's important to mitigate any negative outcomes of your absence, putting plans in place to visit or stay in touch regularly before moving.
Social and relationships: As previously mentioned it's important to ensure that any emotional baggage is dealt with before leaving, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. This also applies to friendships. Moving away and not being able to see friends face to face can affect friendships and to maintain friendships is going to take some work on both ends. There also maybe some friendships that have run their course and will fade away by your relocation.
Housing and decluttering: The items we choose to have in our space affects the energy of where we live. Consider taking a minimalist approach to moving your items. Sell anything that you barely use or doesn't hold any meaning through facebook marketplace or ebay and, only take items that you know you will use regularly and holds positive sentimental or spiritual value. Definitely get rid of anything that represents an identity you no longer wish to be, or brings up unhappy memories.
Career: Depending on your work situation, you may work remotely with your current job in your current city, find a new job in the new city or pursue a completely different direction all together. Whatever you choose, it's important to be prepared. Research what opportunities there may be in your destination city and dont make any assumptions. The job market is different everywhere. If you run your own business that is location dependent for customers its important to realise that this will be different as well.
The farewell: It's important to have a farewell party! Why? It's important to celebrate the current chapter of your life and surround yourself with the people that have loved you and stood by you during your time in your current location.
Thrive>Survive
You’ve arrived in your new destination and managed to get a roof over your head in your new playground. Congratulations for having the courage to step out of your comfort zone, into the great unknown. Take a moment to acknowledge that, it's important to celebrate the win.
Initially, you may feel nervous or uncomfortable in your new environment. That's perfectly normal. The first thing that can help soothe the soul is to introduce an air of familiarity through established patterns and routines. What beneficial routines or elements of your previous life are worth importing into your new reality? Did you love going jogging twice a week somewhere scenic? Then waste no time in finding nice jogging routes in your new area, a quick google search will get you on your feet. Did you like watching live music on a certain night of the week? Do the same thing and find your local live music mecca. Whatever activities you loved to do whether that be meditation, yoga, bar hopping, playing a sport etc. you should reinstate that back into your new reality as soon as possible and you'll start feeling at home sooner.
A little bit of focussed daydreaming and journaling can really get the inspiration flowing. What would you like to happen in the first six months of your new city life? Start with a list of five things you want to make happen, and put it on your fridge or bedroom wall. Under each thing you’d like bring into fruition in your new home, write the word ‘How?’ and without overthinking it brainstorm some dot points that's going to aid your thriving.
Ie. you might write “Meet the love of my life” How? Join a bunch of social groups on meetup, join the local tennis club, try speed dating etc.
Maybe if you’ve moved to a far warmer climate than your previous city you’ve decided you want to take up surfing or freediving. How? Join a group lesson, look for facebook groups in the area.
The last step of this process is to create one baby step or habit for each of the five things you wrote down, and then diarise it.
Show me your schedule and I’ll show you your values- Robin Sharma
You could spend thirty minutes each Sunday looking at meet up groups and planning your week, or calling a few surf schools. You get my drift. Doing this creates momentum, momentum breeds enthusiasm and the combined focussed effort will yield results.
If your a visual and creative person, make a vision board.
Moving away to a new city or any new environment takes courage, but the rewards for feeling like you belong in the right place is immense. Fan the flames of curiosity, embrace your new homeostasis and find a place that looks like your future, but feels like you’ve always belonged.
